Hiraeth
hiraeth
/ˈhirˌīTH/
noun
(especially in the context of Wales or Welsh culture) deep longing for something, especially one's home.
Living in this world have always been giving me a mysterious impression from the universe and creators to us as a human. There are some times that make me questioning about my existence in this world, especially about the term of ‘longing’ , ‘nostalgic feelings’ and ‘home’ itself. What is home? Is it a space? Time? Person?
The definition of ‘longing’ and ‘nostalgic feelings’ that I, as a human, haven’t even find the answers until now but it feels like I keep on dreaming to ‘go back’, but then again, whom to? Where to? When was it? Is it in the present? In the past? Or perhaps a past live(s) that ever happened to us as a human being? Are we some sort of a result from the reincarnationprocess?
What I want to convey are the feeling of realness and the dreamy feelings on thinking and feel about hiraeth itself. An exploration about longing on a ‘place’ that I can eventually breathe (again). There is no concrete form of it, but to be able to express it deliberately through a certain and unexplained feelings, perhaps, can show how real it is, the existence of happiness, grieving, suffer and pain, joy, and gratitude.
Escape for a While
2022
150cmx150cm
Oil on Canvas
“There’s a place I want to take you Somewhere you have never been before Where the unknown is surround you
I’ll take you there
And help you to run away from these madness”
(I hope someone would say this to me)
Labyrinth of Mind
2021
80x100cm
Oil on canvas
My blood is dripping red and you are at the state of no care.
If only I could speak how painful and hurt it is to see you gone.
I have shattered again and need to pick up my broken pieces and wrap them all again into
one tiny strong piece.
I cannot speak any further –
I’d rather just process all the pain that you caused. Should I say thank you to you
(On Brokenness and This Insanity)
Swirl and Spiral
2021
80x100cm
Oil on Canvas
I wish I can run away from the pain that will always attach to me
(Feels like forever)
To avoid this numbness and hollowness inside my chest.
The spider lily tattoo that I got, resembles the grieving and sorrow that I felt for 26 years.
(A reminder)
– again, and again-
What are you grieving for?
STOP COMING TO MY MEMORIES
(I DON’T WANT YOU ANYMORE)
2021
80x100cm
Mixed media on Canvas
I hope it will be easy to let these things go I hope it will be easy to let you go
I hope I won’t struggles any time soon
I hope it will be a better present
I hope it will be a better future
Once I let go of every bitterness and insanity of mine
Flowers in the field
2022
50x100cm
Oil and charcoal on canvas
The memory of his face that I can’t waste it away He makes me even happier and alive
Even though the rain is pouring down the field
It makes the flowers bloom a little
With the feelings that are growing even more than before towards him
(This is me, I don’t pretend)
The Fights
2022
27x35cm
Colour pencils, charcoal and pen on paper
Seeds
2022
27x35cm
Colour pencils, charcoal and pen on paper
The Simplicity
2022
27x35cm
Colour pencils, charcoal and pencil on paper
Strictly
2022
27x35cm
Brush pen, pen and pencils on paper
Swimming in The Darkness
2022
21x29.5cm
Charcoal, pencils and pen on paper
Her Struggles
2022
26.8x35cm
Colour pencils, charcoal and pencil on paper
Clashing
2022
29.5x21cm
Charcoal, pen and pencils on paper
On Top of Layers
2022
26.8x35cm
Charcoal, pencils and pen on paper