Residency Program at REDBASE Foundation, Jogjakarta
Scabulous
An Adjective
‘A proud scar on your body, which is an autograph signed to you by a world, grateful for your continued willingness to play with her, even when you don’t feel like it.’
-John Koenig, The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows-
The VOID
The term of nescient on human, create such an insecure feeling, because the ‘nescient’ itself feels so unknown, limitless, boundless and indefinite.
Having a nature of self-preservation as a living creature in this world, human wants and needs to find a meaning, seek for the acknowledgement about his/her life in order to avoid or prevent this kind of insecure feelings towards the unknown.
'The Fool'
150 x 150cm
Oil, charcoal, pastel and pencil on Canvas
Personal#1
Human have so many unlimited interpretations and ways of seeing or reading towards everything in their life.
But does this ‘unlimited’ term is still working towards on how human ‘see’, ‘communicate’ and ‘receive’ any pragmatic language from universe?
As much as I didn’t know exactly where I was going, I feel like I was being called (by universe) to commit myself and keep follow my heart no matter how crazy this leap of faith will take me.
(But maybe it was more than crazy. It is insane and intense)
The bitterness series of events or even the sweetest ones.
Seeking every meaning for the sake of acceptance.
'The NASTINESS'
150x170cm
Oil, charcoal and pencil on Canvas
Personal#2
At the age of 16th, I thought the world would treat me better
I was very much naïve and fuzzy with how the world was working towards me (Then the world brought us together)
“How could I avoid and leave ungratefully with what the world has gave me”
At least that what I thought
-When it was sweet at the beginning-
At the age of 17th, I thought that the world would treat me even better
When I was wandering for ‘home’
Seeking for the meaning of ‘unconditional loves’
Blinded by the feelings of fondness and gratitude, I then become ‘a pleaser’
To please his ego, his idealism, his expectation, even his lust.
'Snowball Effect'
150 x 170cm
Oil and acrylic on Canvas
Personal#3
(;)
Generally, we all know in society, we hope to see things differently in a good term for the best outcome on each individual.
Strangely not in my case. (;) The taboo one
(is it a x punishment or a reward)
Since the day I entered this kind of ‘forbidden’ zone, each line from the uppermost layer on things in reality that caught my eyes, was like a reminder - an ‘ideation’ - on marking my skin to the uttermost. Challenging on length, skin layers, quantities, and the pain scale.
‘I thought I would be able to control this thing, when I made my first cut, but I found the blood is strangely addicting’
'Amusement Park''
150 x 170cm
Oil and acrylic lon Canvas
Personal#5
“Dear Imes,
We’ve been building & inventing an AMAZING rides, attractions, and PLEASURE gardens (after all this time) and only for you!
(Because you are the ‘chosen’ one)
We promise you’ll get a BLAST once you come and play with us. No doubt because that’s our goals – to DELIVER THE THRILLS into your reality.
Oh, one thing for sure, you won’t be alone in our ‘amusement park.’ We have the most WARM and HUMBLE brothers and sisters of ours, to accompany you all day and night long.
(We have a gut feeling; they will treat you like their own family)
So, worry not! I bet you will soon get these COMFORTABLE feelings and you can call it as your own home”
(And I became a part of their family since 2013)
The Bargain Compromise
(on emotions)
The indication of ‘excessiveness’ create a destitute of vision whether it is the ‘overwhelming’ or the ‘underwhelming’ on how human should feel and experience in his/her life.
'Pelipur Lara''
120 x 150cm
Oil and Pencil on Canvas
Personal#4
‘Every time she’s in pain, I’m also in pain because she is my daughter and my child.
I gave birth to her’ - MOTHER’S
He once prays to God, ‘God, let me bear her pain for her’
- FATHER’S
When I was little, I asked my brother
‘Do you love me?’
And he said, ‘Yes, I love you and I love you as a brother loves his little sister.’
- BROTHER’S
(The shapes of love that I haven’t understand yet)